Well it is that time of year where we decide to kick 2010 to the curb like the cheating whore she was and get the place all cleaned up for our new special lady 2011. At moments like these most people like to make a list of things they would like to change about themselves or change about their lives in the upcoming new year. I however will make a list of things I will continue to do, like a gentleman.
1. I will continue to tease you, my loyal readers by acting like I have gotten my shit together by making several really good blog posts in close succession. Then I will let you all down by doing what any good Chris Plumer does, and slack.
2. I will continue to not sleep with chicks. We all know that women destroy my creativity, it's scientific fact. That however is not why I won't be sleeping with them. It will mostly be because they find me unnattractive, fat, foul smelling, and an asshole. Basically what all women will continue to do in 2011 is not have sex with me, so i guess this really doesn't belong on the list.
3.I will continue to brighten your day with outlandish facebook status updates of the most obscene and dark nature for free. If I had any sense at all I would keep all this private and write some ridiculous screenplay or novel, but let's face it...I won't
4. I will continue to drink excessively, be obnoxious and downright mean to strangers. I will curse in front of nuns and school children. I will creep out women I just met with stories of duct tape and shovels. I don't really want to do this but years of drug abuse have left me without a filter in my brain...things just fall out.
I guess this list is really pointless because all I am resolving to do is be the same old Chris Plumer, Johnny Vodka, Emo Chris and New Chris.
Hide yo vodka, hide yo scissors, hide yo girlfriend, because all the Chris's will be all over all of them next year.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
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