Osama Bin Laden, We Hardly Knew Ye...

And apparently we never will. There were so many things I wanted to know. Did you really come up with "Death to America"? Do you know where Barack Obama was actually born, and/or are you actually the same person with a weird Tyler Durden thing going on? And finally, how does Allah determine your 72 vestile virgins? They have to be the first 72 virgins to die after you right? I mean if he can't just make them up for you can he? That seems a little far fetched. I am also making note that there is no qualifying statement saying female virgins, just virgins.

Selfishly you took these secrets to a watery grave and the world will never know about how you are an accomplished concert pianist who was fluent in Klingon.

So as loyal fear-loving Americans what are we to do?

How about we stop bickering about all this shit for starters. When the fuck did everyone become a cause-head who can't take a joke? You aren't Ghandi so stop lecturing people on how they shouldn't celebrate his death. I'm not celebrating anything, yet treating it the same way I dealt with 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, both tsunamis, and the brutal molestation I endured from my Uncle Pauly "the creep".

Next, I'm glad that both sides of the aisle like to state the facts that make it seem like their guy got it done and the other guy never really did anything. Fuck both sides of the aisle. GWB didn't do it, Obama didn't do it. Alot of people who worked their asses off to get into the high ranking positions they hold in out government got the job done. They made countless sacrifice, sure there was alot of hidden homosexuality and alot of families as ruined as Matt Damon's in The Good Shepherd, but that is how a truly loyal American roles. And don't start with my about there being nothing funny about a broken home. I came from a broken home, and for being a fat, drug addicted, statutory rapist I turned out alright.

So could we please lighten the fuck up and just enjoy this symbolic victory, or not. Just let people deal with it in their own way, and not turn it into a sermon on how much better you are than everyone else because of how they are behaving. It's history and in the textbooks now, and in that textbook won't be a chapter about how you felt about it, so go fuck yourself