Everything I Know About Women I Learned From Watching Porn

Growing up without a man helping to raise me brought on alot of difficult challenges. Learning how to treat and romance the ladies. Being the resourceful young lad I was I did research the only way I could, watching porn. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but porn teaches you alot of falsitudes about women, so hopefully by writing them down and getting them out there you can save yourself some of the embarassment that I have gone through.
-Women love to be called whores and sluts when you are getting down to business with them. This isn't always necessarilly not true, but more often than not she really doesn't want to hear that. Chances are that she already feels horrible enough about herself realizing she is having sex with you she doesn't need to be degraded any more than that.
-Women are excited to do anal, and you don't have to let them know you are going to do that. Trust me here son, she doesn't. The only time I would suggest trying this is if you are into having your ass kicked by a woman and don't want to let her in on your secret fetish.
-All women when home alone will fuck any guy that knocks on their door. It is the common plotline but it doesn't happen I have knocked on alot of doors and worn alot of fake deliveryman and cable guy uniforms and I never once got laid for it, just got the cops called on me alot and restraining orders aplenty.
-Cum in the face without warning is acceptable behavior. Much like the anal thing this one often comes with a violent backlash, although to a lesser degree. Mostly it just makes her realize she never wants to sleep with you again.

None of these things are so horrible that women should never want to sleep with you again, but remember, you are reading my blog. Which means that chances are you are probably like me, at least think like me, and this is your greatest enemy because women don't want to sleep with me. I have to trick them into it and they hate themselves afterwards and probably cry remembering it as the worst moment of their lives. It is hard enough getting them to sleep with me again after one time of mediocre sex without the above written faux pas making me seem even less attractive than they already find me. So happy hunting fellow douchebags