I am 26 years old and have very little to show for it except for a wide variety of small penis and my father hates me jokes. Although they are both a great skill set to have I feel like they would look much better as subcategories on my resume than the only thing on there. In the mean time I have compiled a short list of other useless thoughts and skills that keep me down here writing for both your amusement and attention, because as I have often repeated, I am an attention whore.
-I often sit and try to think of reasons rich hot chicks won't sleep with me. Believe it or not I often find myself at this crossroads and the answer is simple and wordless. I just look in a mirror.
-I'm really good at making people feel like an asshole by making even harsher and meaner jokes about myself than they ever could. It is a great defense mechanism and allows my greatest personality trait to shine through, just not caring what I say.
-I'm making alot of really good jokes about stalking and duct tape.
-I AM (NOT) A COWARD!!!!!!!
-I keep shoes for a really long time. Ok this one sounds like it doesn't make sense but shoes for big fat feet are expensive as fuck. By not buying shoes unless there is a presidential election that year I increase my "I'm gonna get fucked up" fund, thereby increasing my inability to have a stable job or relationship and time available to do said skills above.
-I am really good at getting hurt in shopping carts
-I spend too much time doing shit like this
I know this blog won't get me anywhere and yet I dedicate alot of my time to writing this and other stuff that you may see on here someday or I may throw out. For some reason it seems like it is just more fun to sit around and wish an elderly black jazz man would adopt me and give me his old record collection that auction houses have estimated the value an $2.2 million. But until that happens you will have to settle for impromptu blogs written while I am still drunk from last night.
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